


Good Intentions

by merinxD



Category: Free!
Genre: Acceptance, First Love, Growing, M/M, Makoto & Rin moments of smut and acceptance, No character bashing, Smut, Triangle, intended makoharu ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-10-19
Packaged: 2017-12-24 19:44:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/943922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merinxD/pseuds/merinxD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The road to hell is paved with good intentions, especially in the case of Nanase Haruka.<br/>Makoto and Haruka are the best of friends who have been crawling to something more for years now.<br/>They are only friends though. At least that's what Haru thinks, until it's too late...<br/>Can Haruka turn down Rin's constant advances? Will Makoto forgive him?<br/>Is there light at the end of the tunnel? </p><p>[Post series. Mature scenes. Romance, Friendship, Smut, Angst, Marinka, continual MakoxHaru with MakoxRin, RinxHaru and eventual MakoxHaru. No character bashing.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Unedited.

xxx

It’s Wednesday when everything comes to a head. Ironically enough, it all started on a Wednesday…

_12 months prior_

The wind rustles just like it did the very first time beneath the sakura tree, with the most annoying people in his life. Rin had just switched schools and Haru wanted to ward him off, but his best friend wouldn’t have it.

 _I wonder if he would change his mind now if he knew?_  The raven haired teen wonders about Makoto, and his stomach does a flip for the millionth time that day, much to Haru’s chagrin.

Is there a reason that he is here alone, waiting for Rin?

_Rin…_

Back then, the sharp toothed kid was just a transfer student that he did not care to know. Then Makoto inadvertently dragged him in, forcing Haru to acknowledge the boy that made his anger surge. It was so long ago, but Rin still makes him feel that way. Only now there are definable differences.

Gazing upward with pocketed palms, the gusts of heavy breeze ruffle Haru’s hair in a way that can be likened to the force of the water, and just like every other moment of his life – he wants to swim. The sun beats down through the branches of the pink tree, obscuring his vision harshly. But Haruka doesn’t care.

In fact, he doesn’t like this meeting at all. Everything about it is troublesome. Furthermore, lying to Makoto has left a bitter taste in the back of his mouth, and his stomach feels unsettled. He could have told the truth. There is nothing wrong about what he is doing, and Makoto is not his keeper…but he did it any way. (He  _has_  been doing it.)

Maybe it is because Haru knows that his best friend will not like this, that this will hurt him. Still, he pushes the notion to the back of his mind (along with the cheerful smile that is imprinted on his memory) to deny some more, because what Makoto doesn’t know can’t hurt him.

The last thing Haru wants to do is hurt anyone.

So, the nonchalant seventeen year old stands in silence and waits some more.

Sighing shortly, his eyes slide to the paved ground beneath his feet and Haru thinks like many times in the past –  _I wonder what Makoto is doing?_

It is just a reflexive thought though. He already knows that his friend is baby sitting, and they will meet for mackerel later. Because Makoto promised, and he never breaks a promise.

Before the irritating guilt can wash over him once more, the call of his name grabs his attention, causing the swimmer to gaze to the side with stock expressionless. That is just Haru though, his interest can always be seen in his eyes.

By the looks of it, Rin knows this too, as he slows to a stop in front of him. His burgundy hair hangs free, and his lips quirk in a ghost of a smile. His palms are habitually pocketed in his running pants.

“Hey.” Rin nods sharply, and as their eyes connect Haru inclines his head almost imperceptibly. There aren’t any more words as the stoic boy turns and begins to walk. Rin falls into step easily as they head towards the old park near by that is barely in use.

This is how it has been for awhile now and this park has become their meeting place – ever since the race over a year ago. Of course, Haru didn’t care about winning or losing and he didn’t dwell on the results after the fact. He foolishly thought that it was enough, that he fulfilled Rin’s demand, that was pressed upon him the day outside the swimming store. Though now Haru is beginning to wonder if it will ever be enough. If he will ever be able to just  _be_.

When Rin told Haru that he would move on after they swam, he didn’t say that it would be to  _this._  Their friendship started again, tentatively so. With small meetings like this and they were always alone. But something is changing.

Haru doesn’t know how he is sure. Then, he always did have a knack for knowing the tides. Even the most unpredictable.

A bench comes into view after a short while, and the pink and green plants create a nice alcove. It is the first time that they have met during the day, and this place seems more peaceful, like they shouldn’t be here.

Still, Haru sits down abruptly and turns to face Rin, giving him a look that says – _What do you want? Why did you call me?_

Thankfully, he understands and replies, “I didn’t get to finish last time, about what I wanted to tell you.” His somewhat secret friend watches him unfalteringly and Haru can feel the anticipation welling in his gut.

If his instincts are correct, then Haru knows exactly what Rin wants to talk about and he isn’t sure that he is ready. He likes their dynamic and doesn’t wish for it to change. But at the same time he can see the look in Rin’s eyes. It is the same as when they were children and he perfected a move, only to set his sights on something bigger and better. Rin wants more…

Right now, in this moment, Haru feels caged, when he should be free.

Suppressing a sigh, the boy with azure eyes does not falter, just like aways.

“What is it?” Haru asks softly, and he sees a spark go off in his counter-parts eyes.

“ _This_.” Rin replies.

Then, he is being kissed with a force similar to Rin’s swimming style, and just like every other moment of their relationship, Haru is forced to respond.

The tide is sweeping him away, and there is nothing that can be done about it.

And to think, Haru was going to stop things today...

_Present_

Looking back on it now. He really should have stopped it then and there. Haru shouldn’t have allowed Rin to kiss him.

At the time, the swimmer didn’t so much care either way, and he let his demanding friend do as he pleased to keep the peace. He just didn’t want Rin to get hurt, and it is also the reason that he kept it from Makoto.

However, if the strange stirring in his chest is only friendship, he would not have responded the way he did. Nor would Haru need to hide it, if Makoto is  _just_  his best friend.

It should have stopped then and there. It didn’t though, and now he has been caught by the one person that he didn’t want to know.

To make things worse, they were just starting to get somewhere…

“It’s fine Haru.” Makoto says softly, and the blue phone is still within his grasp. How was his best friend supposed to know what the text was about? It is just an unfortunate mistake.

“I just thought…” The brunette begins, but he trails off. Still, Haru knows what he is trying to say.

 _I thought that you liked me._..

He does. This person with the expressive jade eyes should be beside him forever.

Everything has just gotten so out of hand, and Haru doesn’t even know what he feels any more.

It started out with him not wanting to hurt those that he cares for and it has failed even worse than an initial rejection.

Really, Haru wants to be angry for having his privacy invaded, but he can’t get passed the facade of happiness covering Makoto’s face, or the sadness welling in his vibrant green eyes.

He shakes his head and places the phone on the counter, and a smile slowly falls into place. His eyes are unseeable, as the brunette turns away swifly and Haru finds that he can’t read his lover like this.

“I have to help out at home, so I’ll talk to you later.” Makoto says with feigned happiness, and Haru knows that it is a lie, he just got here.

Then with a quick wave the tall teen is walking a little too quickly from the empty house.

The door is closed before Haru murmurs, “Makoto. Wait.”

Sitting down upon the tatami, the raven haired teen leans against the wall and closes his eyes. His stomach feels sick and his head dizzy. His heart is hammering and he doesn’t even feel like swimming.

Dinner will be burnt but he doesn’t care.

 _Beep beep beep_. His phone sounds and Haru picks it up to view the next text.

The contact name comes up with  _Rin_  and the boy doesn’t bother to open it. Instead, he picks himself up and turns the stove off.

 _Makoto will come back, he will understand._ Haru thinks, and he has to ignore the part of him that doesn’t want him to understand. The selfish tiny bit that wants Makoto to get angry, to speak up.

Some how he didn’t see the tide coming this time, and instead of being swept away, Haru has been submerged completely.

Alone with his thoughts, all he can do is remember…

xxx


	2. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka remembers how it all began with Makoto, after he is left all alone. He takes a step forward in fixing things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited. Anything annoying, let me know. :)

xxx

The first time they kiss isn’t anything amazing, but at the same time it is incredibly special. Haruka can tell by the tint to Makoto’s cheeks, and the glint within sparkling green, how much it means.

They are 14, and they are all alone, sitting upon Makoto’s bedroom floor with the pedastal fan whirring in the background, ruffling their hair with each rotation.

Today isn’t a particularly special day, and Haru isn’t really sure what brought it on.

Still, he lets his best friend take his first kiss, as the racing cars on the television screen crash where they land. The loud noises coming from the speakers aren’t enough to put a stop to the chaste movements and cupping hands.

Haru doesn’t have anyone else in the world. Not really.

This is his best friend, and this isn’t bad.

“Makoto.” The raven haired boy murmurs questioningly, when they pull apart. His forehead rests against his friend’s, and a pink hue is visible across Makoto’s cheeks.

“Iv’e been thinking about it.” The brunette replies honestly, and he goes to move away.

Haru doesn’t let him though. Instead, he acts quickly, initiating a second kiss.

After that, nothing changes.

Every now and then, as the days pass and slowly turn into months and years, Makoto will kiss him. Sometimes, when Haru is feeling particularly lonely, he will kiss Makoto. The encounters are never mentioned, and life continues on like normal.

Regardless, with each kiss stolen, Haru can feel a shift in their friendship. By the way that Makoto’s looks slowly change, becoming softer and more meaningful, Haruka can hazard a guess that he has noticed as well.

They still don’t talk about it. Not even when the kisses become longer, more lustful. Not even when Haru begins dreaming of Makoto at night, waking up to find a mess of his own making. Not when Makoto experiences the same.

Nevertheless, words aren’t needed, and words aren’t spoken…

He has people now, a swim team. Haru and Makoto are friends with Rin again. Life is constant, but completely altered.

Makoto is the same. Strong, ever present Makoto. He is Haru’s best friend, the guiding light on a night’s sea. But something is changing with him too. The green eyed teen is kissing him more, and an aura of discontent weaves off him during time away from the others.

Moments like the day they travel to the equipment store. However, he is always happy in front of their friends. Makoto only ever shows Haru his true feelings…

School has finished long ago, and the boys are sitting upon Makoto’s bed doing their home work. Like always, the two sit side by side, hands an inch or so away.

“Haru.” Makoto says after a long silence, and the distinct lack of ‘chan’ alerts the teen to the serious glint in Makoto’s gaze. They are behind on their work after visiting the swimming store with their team. Still, it doesn’t look like his friend cares about the unfilled pages, not by the way his emerald darken to forest green and Haruka’s mouth suddenly becomes very dry.   
Usually Makoto is cheerful, and when they share intimate moments he is somewhat shy. Right now though, it feels almost dark.

_He knows_. Flits into Haru’s consciousness, as he looks back into the serious eyes of his best friend.

The question rises in the his mind, that perhaps Makoto knows about Rin. That he heard their conversation outside of the equipment store.

The encounter with Rin wasn’t anything bad, only a challenge to swim.

He doesn’t need to tell Makoto everything. They are just friends.

But if that’s the case, why does he lean forward to press his mouth against the silent youth? Why does Haru push closer and part his lips, touching the back of Makoto’s neck placatingly?

Today his second secret was made. The first involved Rin during middle school. Makoto knows about then, but he doesn’t know about this.

Azure close tight and it feels like his breath is caught in his throat. It isn’t until Makoto’s hands move to rest against the small of his back, and the taller teen falls into the embrace, that Haruka relaxes.

After that afternoon, Makoto slowly goes back to normal, and they train harder than ever. The tournament passes and his best friend is there throughout it all. The good and the bad.

The weirdness is forgotten, and it is comfortable again.

Makoto starts to hold his hand after the festival, and Haru begins to think that they aren’t  _just_  friends. He doesn’t voice it. They still don’t talk about the lingering (sometimes heated) kisses, or the growing touches that have become more adult. Makoto and Haruka may not talk. Though they do touch, never to go further than a helping hand, that is embarrassing the first time and exhilarating the next.

Words don’t spill free until a moonlit night, upon his bed. There aren’t many, but it is meaningful, just like their first kiss. Nevertheless, it is different to when they were young.

It’s Haru’s 17th birthday and the raven haired youth isn’t sure how they made it to his bed, or when the light was turned off. He doesn’t know when he lost his shirt, or when his hand found its way down the front of Makoto’s pants.

He nips and softly kisses the places he has learnt that his friend likes, and Haruka knows that this has become something more. He has been thinking about sex for awhile, dreaming about Makoto touching him this way. The young man above him has been the source of his sexual pleasure when alone for more than a few years now, and Haru wonders if it is the same for Makoto.

They have never gone further than heavy kissing, or touching each other to completion once or twice, but this doesn’t feel too fast. It should have happened sooner.

They both blush furiously to start, but when Makoto’s long fingers find a mysterious spot deep inside of him, Haru can’t help but let out a keening moan, and all embarrassment is forgotten.

“I like you Haru.” Makoto whispers, between unrestrained gasps that have only been uttered sparsely until now. Haruka responds with a weighted look, leaning upward to steal a lingering kiss.

It doesn’t last long, and it isn’t as awkward as some say. Maybe it is because it’s Makoto.

A week later Rin calls, and a secret friendship embarks. He isn’t doing anything wrong, but still Haru doesn’t tell Makoto.

They don’t make love again, though kisses are shared. The raven haired teen still doesn’t mention his slowly increasing meetings with their sharp toothed friend.

On the day that Rin kisses him, Haru walks swiftly home to find Makoto sitting upon his living room floor.

They make love for the second time.

It isn’t the same as the first, and happens rapidly. One minute, a short kiss is being shared, and the next Haru is pressing forward almost desperately. He isn’t sure why, but he  _needs_  this.

Their clothes are shrugged off before they make it to the bedroom, and aside from Makoto preparing him, there is no foreplay. It still burns with pleasured pain, as his best friend sits upon the edge of the bed with Haruka above him, plunging downward with all of his might.

They both climax unhindered, but it is clear by Makoto’s calculating green that he knows that something is wrong.

Like always though, they don’t talk about it.

Makoto and Haruka shower together in silence and the raven haired teen wonders if his counterpart knows.

Makoto hugs him when they sleep and Haru notes that something has definitely changed.

He shouldn’t meet with Rin again, and if he does, he should tell him about Makoto…Whatever this relationship is.

He doesn’t however…

Haru waits for Rin to figure it out, to see them on the beach, holding hands.

Typically, the sharp tooth swimmer’s advances only grow stronger.

For some reason, Makoto’s hugs become tighter. His kisses more meaningful. It is a coincidence that hurts even more. 

What was once safe has become a cage, and Haru has done this to himself…

Sighing deeply, the down trodden man looks down at the phone in his grasp. There are two messages from Rin, that he ignores in favour of opening a very familiar contact. 

Pressing the text button, Haruka writes out two words.

_I’m sorry_. 

He hits the send button before letting out a deep sigh. A bath won’t be helpful in this state. Haru knows that the situation is bad. 

Right now, water isn’t on his side, and neither is Makoto. He has been left in open water to swim with the sharks…

Haru feels alone.

 


	3. Difference Between Knowing and Seeing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru wallows, Rin takes action, Makoto decides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Incredibly unedited. I wrote this, read it once and uploaded. I'll go through after my brain has had a break so I'm able to actually see the mistakes.   
> Anyway, this isn't the last chapter obviously. 
> 
> I've said this before but I'll say it again. This is marinka with both makoharu and rinharu but I intend for the story to end with makoharu.

Silence rings throughout the house of Nanase, stifling, all encompassing, nothing. It underpins the loneliness of the moment, as he waits...

A text doesn't come. 

Not from Makoto. 

His head hits the wall for what seems like the millionth time since he fell here. Fingers rake roughly through ebony locks, already mussed with the stress of the day. Images of Makoto and where he is, what he is doing ( _feeling)_ , pass through Haru's mind and his chest clenches unbelievably tight. 

It's all ruined and it is his fault. Haru took Makoto for granted, Rin too. 

It's only now, that he knows what he wants...

When it's too late. 

A buzz sounds, resounding through the tatami. It jolts his fingers, flat upon the ground. Quickly, the teen grasps the traitorous device, clicking the buttons desperately. 

His heart drops when it isn't Makoto.

It tightens as the destruction of the past months sink in. It is slow and sickly. It makes him want to throw up. 

He didn't want to hurt Makoto, but he couldn't say no to Rin. Not then. Probably not now. 

Haru just wants to be free, but it's impossible. 

Looking at the screen before him, determination fills his watery azure. Haru knows what he needs to do. Nevertheless, he is scared. 

What if he fails like all the other times? What if he is weak? 

What if everything breaks worse than before and he is finally left all alone? 

No Makoto.

No Rin.

No freedom...

And no Haru. 

Haru is not Haru without his friends, without the water...without Makoto. 

He doesn't even want to look at water, not after thinking of what he has done; what he did with knowing. 

Haru knows right and wrong. 

 

It doesn't stop him from answering the phone when it dings, a familiar name popping up on the screen.

Like before...

It isn't Makoto.

 

“Hello.” He says croakily, his tone soft and limp. 

“Did you get my emails?” The familiar voice replies. Rin sounds demanding as always, but casual. It makes Haru feel even worse. 

There is a long pause, “Haru?” Rin asks.

His throat clears, “Yeah. I'm here.” 

“So, did you get my emails?” The tone has changed, there is suspicion within his deep lilt. The regular annoyance doesn't seem as prevalent as usual, but Haru doesn't want to know that, because it makes this even harder. 

“Yeah. I got them.” He responds, holding his face in his hand. He is leaning forward, knees bent, hair falling over his face. If he was one to cry, tears would probably fall to the tatami, threading through his fingers that encase his scrunched up eyes. He isn't though; has never been one for feelings. Which makes this tidal wave all the more intense; so painful that it turns to numb. His body shudders without knowing; a bi product of his condition. Haru doesn't want to talk right now. He just wants to sit here, alone in his empty house. 

That would be too kind... 

…

…

“I'm coming over.” Rin declares. There is wind in the background distorting his voice, and Haru guesses that he is already on his way. 

Regardless, he says, “ _No_.” It's rushed and panicked, and completely unintentional. 

“I'm coming over.” Rin says again, harder now. There is no room for argument and Haru wonders if this is a sign. Get this over with now, instead of prolonging the inevitable. 

He sighs heavily, murmuring, “Do what you want.” 

The desolate teen hangs up before anything else is said. The phone slips from his fingers, dropping to the floor with a _thud_. It tumbles half a foot away but he doesn't bother to grab it. 

Standing slowly, Haru walks to the stairs. A bath won't help him, but it's all that he has right now. It is right that he wallows in these feelings anyway.

Makoto won't reply, so what's the point?

His old friend, the bath comes into view just as the shoji slides closed. For a short while he will shut himself away.

Rin will be here soon enough... 

xxx

The phone clicks and the line goes dead, just as Rin is about to ask, _Are you okay?_

It isn't something that he wants to know about, not really. Because then Haru might answer him; a _real_ answer. His borrowed time might crumble into pieces and he will be alone again, but this time without his friends. 

It can't go any other way. Not now.

Rin knew that when he called Haru the very first time. He heard from Nagisa how they were, even though no one was supposed to know. 

 

In truth, it just made him want Haru even more; to take him and keep him for himself.

Rin isn't sure, whether it was his competitive disposition or a genuine want to be chosen that made him do it. He has always known that it will never be him. Not while Makoto is around, waiting at the finish line for Haruka, hand outstretched; or crying over Haru's limp drowned form while an ambulance drives at full speed...

Maybe it would have worked out if it had stopped that day, when he saw them at the beach. It was months before and he still remembers the feeling.

Seeing them there with their fingers woven together, looking content, was horrible. Jealousy welled, as a wall between him and _them_ made itself known for the second time in his life. They were always his friends, and his bond with Haru was and always will be different. 

It doesn't matter though.

Rin knew that he couldn't walk over and sit with them. It felt like he didn't belong. 

Yes, seeing them happy together was like walking down a set stairs and stepping too far; feeling his stomach drop before his foot hit the ground. It was mixed with a bitter sweet tang, similar to his youth, standing by the wayside with Nagisa while Makoto and Haru swam in their lane. 

Even back then they were always walking away from him, together; never apart.

Nowadays, Rin often sees annoyance in Haru's too blue eyes, and it gives him the same clench that he felt when Haru told him _no_ , that he wouldn't be in the relay, all those years before. His eyes have always done that, made Rin feel torrents of emotions, even without the ability to read the words within them. It's the same saddened jealousy that he felt as he subtly convinced Makoto to ask, because even back then Rin knew that if anyone could get Haru to Race, it was Makoto.

The day at the beach, months before, Rin learnt that there truly is a difference between knowing something and seeing it. Needless to say, after the incident his advances grew stronger and Haru was powerless to refuse. He saw him try though, and it niggled at the back of his mind. It still does, as he walks the steps to Haru's house. It makes Rin wonder if this will be the last time.

For some reason, it sure feels like it.

If it is, he wants to remember it completely. Maybe then he can leave Iwatobi, free from his jealousy. Go to university abroad and finally live. 

It's really tiring, being hurt by someone while you're hurting them, all under the pretence of love. 

Rin isn't quite sure, but he will settle for acceptance, from Haru _and_ Makoto. 

His feet feel heavy as he walks higher, just as his heart feels tight. The guilt of his actions doesn't stop him, he feels boxed off, because to Makoto there is Haru and no one else.

Rin isn't even sure what Haru feels...

Sighing heavily, his pocketed fists clench as he pushes away thoughts of love; _loving Haru_. He does love him, _**really**_ does. It's the reason beneath the burden, as to why he sought him out. Everything else just got in the way. 

Rin supposes that it doesn't so much matter anymore. He will go away to university where his _own_ dream will come true, and Makoto and Haru can be here, together. 

The door to the Nanase home opens, and he steps inside, toeing off his shoes. He places them to the side, eyeing Makoto's house slippers with disdain. 

It's funny how small things like this can make him want to destroy something. 

He isn't a good person. 

Scowling, the teen walks further into the house. He sees Haru's phone on the floor, looking lonely and discarded. 

“Haru.” He calls. No reply comes, and as he looks at the main area before him, Rin realises that something has happened here. The chairs of the table are skewed and there are objects littered about. There is food in the kitchen going to waste. The two plates make his nose wrinkle uncontrollably, and not for the first time today, Rin feels guilty.

Realisation dawns that Makoto may have found out about him and Haru. Which explains the way Haru was on the phone, listless and hoarse.

Eyes narrow and Rin pushes an incredibly possessive feeling to the back of his mind, deeper into the depths of his heart. If Makoto knows, it undoubtedly means the end for him and Haru. 

If that's the case, he will make the most of it. 

One last time...

“Haru.” Rin calls again, not really expecting a reply. 

Anyone that knows Haru even the slightest would assume that he has retreated to water, to his safe place. 

_The bath_. His mind supplies, causing Rin to nod once in agreement. 

Heading towards the stairs he makes the assent quickly. He rounds the corner and spies the closed door. There is no sound of water, but Rin has never seen this strange ritual. For all he knows Haru just floats there for hours. 

Burgundy locks move as his head shakes, and Rin steps forward. The shoji screen slides open and he walks inside, right up to the edge of the bath where a person is completely immersed. 

Haru must notice him, because he suddenly comes up for air. It's desperate and quick and Rin doesn't miss the disappointment in his blue eyes. The brief expression of liveliness leaves Haru completely, and he says,

“Hey.” 

“Hey yourself.” Rin replies, feeling defensive all of a sudden. Regardless, his eyes rake over the nakedness of Haru's torso, dripping wet. 

Haru sits there, staring up at him for a moment and Rin has to wonder if he is waiting for something. Then, just like many times before, annoyance filters passed his gaze and Haru is pushing upward, out of the water. 

His head shakes as droplets fly everywhere, and he doesn't bother to grab a towel from the rack. The dark haired teen walks out of the wash room, leaving Rin behind. 

Following the wet foot prints, Rin wonders if Haru tracks water all over every day. He wants to ask about what happened, but doesn't know what to say. 

Thankfully, Haru does it for him, just as he stops in the open doorway to his bedroom. 

“Makoto knows.” He murmurs. It's simple and soft. Haru doesn't look at him, _won't_ look at him and an irrational kind of burning makes its way inside of him. 

“Haru.” Rin speaks, hoping to catch his eyes. Still, he refuses to gaze upward and it pushes Rin forward. He strides closer, reaching up to grip Haru's chin tightly. 

Their eyes meet by force, and Rin sees the defiance he has grown to love. His heart pangs, but this feels normal - competitive. 

“So?” He asks, and it sounds as petulant on his tongue as it did in his mind. 

Blue flicker, and Haru moves to speak. 

This isn't the first time that Rin kisses him to keep the words away. He swoops in almost violently, clashing their lips together. Haru presses against his chest, trying to move back. It stops as Rin bites, taking the smaller teens lower lip hostage before slinking his tongue forward. His movements are quick and demanding. 

Surely Haru knows where this is going. 

They have never fucked in here before, and Rin's masochistic heart can't help but wonder if Haru has with Makoto. Probably. His eyes open within the kiss and he eyes the bed.   
There. He wants to take Haru there. 

Ripping backward, he pushes forcefully. Haru stumbles as his knees hit the mattress and Rin is on him within a second. The kiss starts again, as the sharp toothed teen removes his jacket, unbuttons his pants. His mind tells him to stop, to see if Haru is alright, to console him.

But Rin is hurting too.

Hands grapple for purchase, as his knee presses between Haru's thighs. They open instinctively, and his partner groans against his lips. Haru's fingertips grip Rin's shoulders tightly, and in the next moment he finds himself being pushed back. 

Rin allows it, seeing the bottom of his shirt being gripped. It comes off quickly, and Haru's hands move of their own accord. Rin nips at his neck, licking and sucking; making a mark of his own for the first time ever. Haru allows it, and it surprises him somewhat.

Hungry for more, Rin moves on. Their hips grind together now and he is panting heavily himself. Sharp teeth drag along Haru's abdomen as he palms him through the black and purple jammers. The erection is warm and throbbing, just begging to be tasted. 

Sitting up, he rips the fabric down, stretching to free him. It catches, causing Haru's dick to slap enticingly against his stomach.   
Mewls leave the stoic boy, turning into a moan as Rin takes him in. Haru is just as desperate now, and it gives Rin pleasure. 

He sucks harder, fondling his sac and Haru bucks harshly. His arm hits the counter beside the bed jolting everything, and a litter of books and items fall from a higher shelf. 

It doesn't matter, Rin just keeps exploring, bobbing faster and harder, taking Haru in as much as possible and allowing himself to be lost in the act, for just a little while. 

Haru whimpers, reaching down to grab Rin's head making him move faster. Haru squeezes, pulling upwards and Rin growls low in his throat. 

Ripping up, he holds the base of Haru's dick in his hand and he glares fitfully upwards. 

“ _What?_ ” He hisses, hating being interrupted. Haru looks great though, glistening with water and perspiration, his hardness held tall and moist. 

His eyes however, they aren't right. 

His own deep depths gaze upward, into watery blue and it makes him pause. Haru glances to the side and then toward the ground, making Rin follow him. 

He sees it, and his anger boils stronger. He should be supportive, but he can't. 

The picture of Makoto and Haru (taken god knows when), stares at him. Haru's non plussed expression and Makoto's exuberantly happy smile looks into his soul, and his chest jolts strangely. The guilt sits beside the anger and Rin wants to tear himself apart. 

“Haru.” He says strainedly. He almost says it, this is it. _This is the last time_. Maybe then they can both enjoy it, go wild – be free. 

His grip doesn't loosen, and despite Haru's glistening eyes his erection doesn't flag. Their bodies want this, and it's almost enough for Rin to dive forward, to fuck him senseless. 

Keeping their eyes locked, the burgundy haired male lowers his head again, encasing Haru's length. A groan emits, and Rin watches as the photo is turned upside down, so Haru can't see. The sting lessens, but the guilt stays. 

Nevertheless, his fingers tug the jammers lower as his mouth sucks him in, taking as much of Haru as possible. 

Neither teen notice the sound of foot steps on the wooden floor.

They don't hear a voice call, “Haru, I'm sorry!” 

Or see the shoji slide open...

They do hear,

“H – Haru?” It's loud and shocked, Makoto stands in the now open door way with wide green eyes. Haru sees and Rin hears, causing him to pull up and away from his enjoyment, but not without one last lick. A string of saliva travels from Haru's penis to Rin's lips, and a dark part of him is satisfied. He holds him tight, for Makoto to see. 

Rin feels completely triumphant for only a second, until his eyes rake over Haru's face to see a tear finally escape. He watches at the man beneath him stares at Makoto (the bane of Rin's existence), with wide hurt eyes. Rin's heart clenches as he feels the love radiate between them, and it sickens him and pulls him in all at the same time. He wants to feel it too, to be part of it. 

Makoto turns, and stands still for a moment, shoulders stiff. His hand grips the entry way for support and he is visibly shaking. 

“I'm sorry, I didn't -” He begins, but Haru speaks up, trying to move as well. 

“Makoto -” The ravenette cuts him off, only for Rin to do the same to him, pushing him back against the bed in the same moment.

“Makoto.” Rin says firmer than Haru did. “Turn around.” 

His voice is surprisingly calm, for what he is about to suggest. 

“This isn't funny.” Makoto mutters, and it is clear to see that he is starting to cry. 

“Don't go.” Haru gets out, tone surprisingly emotive. It looks like there is more that he wants to say, but his mouth closes. Haru falls short and it's ridiculous that Rin feels bad for him. 

“It's clear that you don't need me here.” Makoto spits back, and there is anger between his tears. Haru and he are looking at each other, doing that eye thing that has always pissed Rin off. 

It doesn't matter about any of it though, Rin knows what he is going to do. He has said it before, seeing is different to knowing and he needs to see them to know. He will be able to move on, live and let live once this is over. 

“Haru wants you to stay.” Rin says, and it sounds like a challenge. He sits back, gripping Haru's erection tightly while holding Makoto's gaze. Then, he looks downward and pumps up and down. The gasp that comes from across the room tells him that Makoto sees, and he looks back at him, never stopping his ministrations. Haru squirms, trying not to make a sound, but a gasp slips free.

“Makoto. _Please._ ” Follows, taking Rin's heart hostage. 

“You heard him.” He says to their audience. “Haru wants it.” 

Still, Makoto doesn't move, so Rin pumps harder making Haru cry. Again, the boy murmurs, “Makoto.” 

This time doesn't clench at Rin's heart the same way, and there is no reason at all for the change. His eyes move from the naked squirming youth who is staring at their friend. 

“Don't you love him?” Rin asks. Looking down at Haru, he grips him harder, spreads his legs wantonly. “Tell him Haru.” He orders.

It takes only a second for Haru to say, “Makoto. Come here” It is the most composed thing that he has said throughout the entire encounter, and oddly enough, it is what makes Rin's cock twitch tight in his pants. 

Makoto steps forward, a wary expression covering his face. He stops before the bed and Haru's hand shoots out, he grips it and with one last _please_ from the smaller swimmer, Rin knows that Makoto has been caught. 

Seeing is believing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that you liked it, was difficult to write since I have never really done Rin pov before. All comments are welcome and really appreciated :)


	4. It Feels Like...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto and Rin have an understanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited.

One minute Makoto was standing on the road with his heart clenched in a vice, letting the breeze wash over him. His fists clenched and his emotions were a wreck, after he ran from Haru's kitchen. Eventually, after going through the email in his mind, Makoto convinced himself that he read it wrong, that it didn't really mean anything at all. Nevertheless, it didn't stop the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, or how painful it was to breathe as he stepped closer to the house of Nanase. It didn't stop him from realising that even if it were true, that he had read right and Rin was with his boyfriend...He loved Haru too much to leave him. Makoto didn't want to lose the only person that meant everything to him, and he didn't want to lose Rin either. Nothing stopped the pain though. Not one bit.

Now, grasping Haru's hand, gazing into his cloudy blue eyes...Makoto knows that he was fooling himself. His chest hurts more than anything, his gut is swimming. He feels angry and betrayed, after finding his lover splayed naked for another.

The thoughts that are running through his head aren't like him and he isn't sure that he can ever say it aloud; not without hurting anyone. He is ashamed at the possessiveness that he feels. But these people, they are his friends and they have been lying to him. How long for? Has Haru been sleeping with Rin since he returned, or is today a first?

 _No_. Makoto decides. The way the red head's thumb scrapes over the head of Haru's dick is much too deliberate to be new. Rin knows Haru's body intimately, probably just as much as Makoto does.

Hurt fills his eyes, it surges through his entire body completely. Haru is _his_ , and he had deluded himself into thinking it true. Makoto isn't sure what to think now. He isn't sure about a lot of things, like his body's reaction to the situation. His cock is hard (straining almost painfully), but his heart wants to shatter into pieces.

Looking into Haru's blue eyes is painful, but there is solace there too...Maddening solace. Makoto can see the love that belongs to him, can feel the apology within, and it makes him wonder again, _Why, Haru?_

He glances up, turning his head to look directly at Rin. Their eyes meet and he wonders what is going on inside of his head. What is Rin thinking?

His burgundy eyes shine with something out of place, it isn't sombre, nor curious...It's perplexing. Makoto thought that he would see malice, contempt, maybe even victory. Instead, it is more like uncertainty, and _something_ else...

The hurt ebbs just a fraction, but his anger still burns beneath it. His mind and body are at war about whether he should succumb to Haru's hand trailing up his thigh (cupping him through his pants), or if he should punch Rin and leave, never to come back.

…

…

His eyes widen, as the thought sinks in. He imagines leaving...Imagines punching rin.

No...Makoto knows that he will never hurt them, even if he is hurt instead. He loves his friends, even after this. And a world without Haru is too much too bear.

Tears spring forward and it is no surprise. His eyes have been watering for some time now, a few tears have already escaped when he first found them. These are different tears though, a hurt that isn't quite the same. His heart swells to incredible proportions and he can't help but imagine life without his best friend. It hurts more than this encounter, more than anything. He clutches at his chest, gripping his shirt and the wetness on his face tells him that he is crying.

“Hey.” Haru says, sitting up. Rin has stopped his ministrations and is watching them intently. There is a strange look on his face again and it doesn't make sense.

His attention is drawn away however, when Haru pulls him down to sit. Their foreheads rest together and the tears only fall harder.

“Makoto.” Haru murmurs, and the sound of his name in _that_ voice causes a pained gasp to rip free.

He shakes his head, gripping at his shoulders. Haru is so close that he can't make out his features, but his smell is soothing.

“I love you _so_ much, Haru.” He grips harder, fingertips going white. There will be bruises on Haruka's pale skin later, but the smaller man doesn't make a sound.

“This is fucked up.” Makoto grits, tears still flowing. He hiccups and clings, taking in large bouts of air.

“How did it turn out like this?” He wonders in a whisper. “Why – Why are you so beautiful?” He feels himself falling, head catching on Haru's shoulder. Arms encase him and Haru is kissing his cheek, his neck, ears – where ever he can get to.

“I hate this.” Makoto whispers, “But I can't hate you...Either of you.” Haru kisses more frantically, and he loathes to wonder what Rin is thinking of him. He must look pathetic.

Still, Makoto continues valiantly, refusing to part with Haru's shoulder. “Why are you doing this to me Haru? It hurts. Why can't you say that you don't want me anymore and -”

He is cut off with an angry sounding, “I have _always_ wanted you.” A hand tugs him back, rough but not enough to hurt. Then, their mouths align.

Haru kisses Makoto harshly, with everything that he has. He doesn't care that Rin is grasping his dick, keeping it at full mast, or that they are being watched. He needs Makoto to know the truth, that he loves him with everything. It is a different kind of love than he has for Rin, something that he has known ever since he was a child. It's a kind of love that would kill him if he lost it.

A sharp intake of breath comes from the side, as Haru unconsciously bucks up into Rin's hand. It's wrong, but it feels great, so he does it again. His heart beats heavy in his chest. It is a culmination of desire, love, guilt, all becoming one. Haru's hips move in rhythm as Rin starts again, getting him off in just the right way.

His tongue slides against Makoto's, exploring him every where. This kiss is clumsier than their others, but he has never put this much feeling into it before. Makoto is responding too, grasping his shoulders and touching his chest.

Pulling backward, Haru can't stop the moan from leaving his throat as Rin's other hand plays with him from behind. It is just painful enough to be pleasant and he yearns to be filled. Looking back at Makoto (whose eyes are agape), Haru knows exactly what he needs. He palms at the shirt, trying to get it off Makoto quickly.

He is met with a questioning look, confused green are wider than before and it seems like his lover (are they still boyfriends?) is processing the information.

“You – You want me too?” Makoto asks disbelievingly, and Haru leans forward to kiss his neck. The brunette isn't finished though, and he questions, “You want us both?”

Haru pauses, about to say _of course_. Nevertheless, he isn't the one to answer, as Rin speaks up,

“He can only have us both today, Makoto. There is no more after that.”

Haru sees the instantaneous look of terror in Makoto's eyes and realises that he has gotten the wrong idea.

“ _Baka_.” Rin answers for him again, obviously seeing the signs of distress. “Didn't you hear him?” His head cocks toward Haru, while his hands continue to work the smaller teen slowly. “He wants _you_.”

Makoto turns, gaze catching the serious man to his left. “But...Rin...” He says, almost questioningly. Rin must hear the omission, just as Haru does, _But what about you?_

“Worry about yourself.” Rin replies, feigning strength and fingering Haru faster. The youth keens, pressing backward, but he still catches the hurt in Rin's gaze, and he is sure that Makoto sees it as well. There is an uncomfortable tension rolling off of him.

“Rin _.._.” Makoto replies breathily (swatting away one of Haru's wandering hands), and the wanting swimmer doesn't grouse, seeing the softening of Makoto's green. His shoulders roll as the tension begins to ebb. It floods Haru with relief.

Rin shifts, and suddenly so does Makoto. The gentle youth stands, still grasping Haru's hand tightly. He takes a step, leaning forward to press his lips to Rin's. Haru's eyes widen, and something sharp spikes through him. It burns and twists and his cock twitches...It's a conflicting feeling that he deserves. He should feel jealous after all that he has done; especially when they both look so hurt. Rin started this, but something makes Haruka feel like he is responsible for it getting this far.

Makoto dominates, and Haru can't help but smirk at the surprised yelp that slips from the red head.

The taller man takes Rin's lower lip between his own, suckling lightly. Meshing together closely, their tongues explore slowly, languidly, growing in pace gradually. Makoto isn't exactly certain why he is kissing Rin, but it feels good. He just couldn't resist that glint, the sorrow in his eyes. Makoto had to make it go away even though Rin is part of his own pain. A hand moves to touch the back of his neck, and Rin pulls him closer. The kiss becomes more desperate and Makoto can't stop the feeling that Rin is trying to send him a message.

It feels like an apology.

Haru's fingers disentangle and then Makoto's pants are being undone. Another zip sounds, indicating that Rin's are as well. His mouth only opens wider when he realises what Haru intends to do. His tongue glides smoothly through this new territory, loving the nip of Rin's sharp teeth against his lips.  
He doesn't notice Haru leave the bed, or come back. Though he does feel the cool air on his erection, as the fabric of his underwear is pulled down with his trousers. A rustle sounds and Rin pants openly into Makoto's mouth, gripping at his hair tightly. He mewls, and it sounds muffled.

Makoto realises why, as a cool slick feeling covers his dick. The lubricant is spread deftly over him (warming up quickly), before Haru pushes him closer to kneel completely on the bed. Rin is tugged forward also, making it easier for them to kiss. They are almost on the same level now, and everything is more accessible.

A warmth encases him, Haru's hand. It pumps, once and then twice, slowly. Makoto groans at the loss as the hand leaves, but relishes in the noise that rips through Rin's chest, telling him that Haru is doing the same to him. The cool air is nice against his slicked member, but then something else replaces it. It is searing hot and Makoto's head pulls backward, his eyes rolling back. He groans deeply as Haru holds their cocks together. Both men look downward, and Haru looks up. His face is blank but his eyes speak hunger.

Then his hands are moving, encasing them both. It feels incredible, just _amazing._

“ _Fuck._ ” Rin breathes, and Makoto agrees with a nod. Their eyes meet, and he sees the lust clouded in Rin's gaze. His chest stings, but his arousal is much too strong. Sharp teeth latch onto his neck and Makoto decides that he can face his feelings after, when it is all said and done.

“Haru.” He whispers, and the teeth sink deep into his skin. “Ah ~ _Rin_.” The pleasured teen yelps. Haru moves faster at this, and Makoto's head lolls backward. The teeth scraping and tongue licking at his neck is making him beyond sensitive and the feeling of Rin's dick against his, Haru pumping them both...It's too much.

Makoto knows that he won't last, and despite the situation, he isn't ready for this to end just yet.

“Ah, ah, Haru. Stop.” He breathes sharply, “I don't want to cum yet.”

Haru nods in decisive understanding before releasing his hold, he continues to pump Rin though, fast and hard. Makoto twitches, suddenly finding this scene more arousing than hurtful. It doesn't make sense at all. Perhaps he is broken.

“Haru. I'm gonna -” Rin grits, trying to rip away, but Haru doesn't want any of it.

“That's fine.” He says calmly, despite panting quite heavily. “I want Makoto first.” He explains, as the muscles of his arm tense even more. Makoto reaches out, touching Haru's bicep and something in his chest swells.

“Fine - by me.” Rin groans, “ _Fuck_.” He follows up with, bucking upward as his eyes slide closed.

“Makoto.” Haru says, and the teen understands the order.

Leaning forward, Makoto licks a line up Rin's neck, along the protruding vein. He suckles, laving deliberately. His hand traces over muscled skin, scraping his nails just a little.

Rin's breathing increases, and his words become gasps and unintelligible sounds.

“ _Fuck_. Makoto.” He growls, clumsily meeting their lips for a kiss. Rin's hand grabs him too, gripping his hardness tightly. It only lasts a moment, as Rin erratically pumps him a couple of times, before his hand slips, causing Makoto to groan at the loss. Sharp teeth are displayed as Rin's head tips backward, his body arching as his climax hits.

Makoto watches as Haru milks him, then the smaller man places a chaste kiss to Rin's abdomen before spreading the release over his favourite fingers.

Sliding backward to hit the headboard, Haru sits with spread legs, fingers dripping with cum. He leans backward, opening himself up tantalisingly. Some would say that it looks clinical, the way Haru pleasures himself, but they don't know how to read his emotions, the slight twitch of his non expressions. Makoto's eyes take it all in hungrily, as two of Haru's fingers disappear inside of himself, moving slowly.

Blue eyes close in pleasure and before Makoto knows what he is saying, he murmurs, “Haru-chan. Let me.”

His boyfriend nods, lids fluttering open slowly to reveal a wanting expression.

“Makoto,” he says, pressing his own fingers deeper inside of himself. He bucks forward, moving his hips and Makoto breathes out deeply, to steady himself.

Rin is limp at the base of the bed, catching his breath but watching raptly.

Despite his state, he interjects, “Take him Mako.” 

Makoto nods, agreeing whole heartedly. He has never wanted to make Haru his own more than this moment, to possess him completely.

Sliding closer with a determined expression, Makoto leans downward. He kisses along Haru's inner thigh, the tip of his cock (suckling on the head teasingly). Then, he moves lower, kissing everywhere wetly throughout his descent. Reaching his destination, nestled between Haru's exposed entrance, Makoto licks at the thrusting fingers. He tastes Rin's cum and hears the man in question make a sound at the sight. Makoto pulls Haru's wrist away, deliberately licking his digits clean.

“ _Fuck_.” Rin cusses, and the distinct sound of semi lubed flesh sounds from behind. They are all harder than ever now, thanks to Makoto's stunt, and Haru whines for more.

“ _Makoto_.” He grasps for him quickly, to no avail.

 

Green eyes look behind him and the sight of Rin jerking himself off is more than arousing. The red head has moved to the side, against the wall in a bid to watch them. Makoto then gazes upward, meeting Haru's desperate eyes. His entrance is leaking and almost ready to have him thanks to Rin's previous ministrations.

It's decided, Makoto is going to give it all that he has.

  


End file.
